You know those moments, right?
Those times you’re trying so hard to relax, that the very effort of relaxing becomes the most exhausting thing of all?
You tell yourself, “Okay, now I am going to chill. I will consciously breathe slowly. I will deliberately empty my mind. I will intentionally not think about that overflowing inbox or that looming deadline.” And what happens? Your mind, in its own way, immediately starts running through all the things you’re trying not to think about.
It’s in those moments a simple idea resonates deeply: “BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT NOT BEING INTENTIONAL IS BEING INTENTIONAL.”
Yeah. Exactly.
Your highly intentional effort not to be intentional about stress was, itself, a very stressed-out kind of intention. It’s the mental equivalent of clenching your fists while trying to look casual.
This isn’t just about trying to relax, though. Think about creativity. How many times have you sat down, stared at a blank page or screen, and intended to be brilliant? You intend for the muse to strike, you intend to craft the perfect sentence, you intend to build a masterpiece brick by painstaking brick. And sometimes, it flows. But sometimes… it feels like trying to squeeze water from a stone.
Then, frustrated, you walk away. You stare out the window. You doodle aimlessly. You make a cup of tea and watch the steam rise. You intentionally stop trying to force it. And that’s often when it happens. A phrase pops into your head. An image flickers. The idea you were chasing while you were “being intentional” about writing arrives when you were being intentional about not writing.
It’s the intentionality of the pause. The deliberate step back. The conscious decision to release the white-knuckle grip of control. It’s not just flopping onto the couch in defeat. It’s choosing the couch as the strategy. It’s not giving up on the creative act, but intentionally shifting how you engage with it – moving from forceful doing to receptive being.
And it’s everywhere, once you start looking. It’s the intentionality of not arguing, even when you desperately want to be right. You’re not being passive; you’re making a conscious choice for peace, or for de-escalation. The intention is towards a different outcome than “winning” the fight.
It’s the intentionality of a leader who, instead of micromanaging, intentionally empowers their team to figure things out, stepping back with the intention of fostering growth and autonomy.
It’s the intentionality of sitting in discomfort instead of immediately trying to fix it or run away. You’re not just stuck; you’re intentionally choosing to be present with a difficult feeling, with the underlying intention of understanding it or building resilience.
This perspective forces you to see that intentionality isn’t a single, narrow road paved with to-do lists and action plans. It’s a vast landscape of choices, including the choice to wander, the choice to rest, the choice to release. The act of consciously deciding not to exert control, not to follow a rigid path, not to fill every moment with deliberate action – that requires its own kind of awareness, its own kind of strength, and yes, its own powerful intention.
So, the next time you catch yourself trying too hard to “just be,” or feeling guilty for pausing, remember this.
Remember that even in the act of letting go, you might just be practicing a most profound and human kind of intentionality. And there’s a quiet power in recognizing that.
#Intentionality #Mindfulness #Productivity #Leadership #Creativity #Wellbeing #WorkLifeBalance #PersonalGrowth
